being bolder

One Word for 2015

/ Margi Sang / 1 Comment

I usually am weary about bandwagons. However, I am going to jump on the one concerning a person “word of the year.” A few years ago I stop making resolutions in favor of having a yearly theme. Naturally, my theme last year was to “Be Bolder.” That theme continues on to this year as well. (A little more bolder then before.) As I scrolled through one of my favorite instagram accounts: @kalbarteski, I noticed #wordoftheyear and it really interested me. Turns out this is like a real thing. Like, people are doing this, this word of the year thing. It’s a real hashtag, and people are writing about it, speaking about it, making it real, and its a great idea! So, I jumped on board and a word found me. It was really quite easy. I closed my eyes took a few breaths and then there it was, loud and clear.

I want to be brave. I want to be confident in my gut. I imagine that is where bravery grows, forms, builds a foundation – starts a needle through a piece of fabric to become something strong, sturdy – beautiful. I want to be brave enough to do something about something. I want to be brave enough to challenge the difficult person, the soft spoken person, even the nicest of people. I want to be the kind of brave that makes no apologies and has no regrets. I want to live out my skin brave.

There is so much to do something about, so much love to be given, support to be provided, care to speak out in to people. I want to do all those things fully and bravely. In a way that is filled with both hope and comfort.  I think I can be brave.

What is your word for 2015? Have you spoke it out yet? Told the world you are committing to yourself this year. I just did that. It feels so good to know that I have made this small yet palpable commitment to myself. I have a tendency to love others before I love myself. Even when I know I cannot care for others well if I am not caring for myself. So this year, I am going to continue to love people from that brave place, but I am committing to love myself from there too. I can do it. So can you.

Happy New Year!

solicited advice.

/ Margi Sang / Leave a comment

Bold:

  1. showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous.
  2. having a strong or vivid appearance.

Audacious:

  1. showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks.

 

The word bodacious is a portmanteau that comes from the words bold and audacious. I would never describe myself as bodacious, but I like the idea of being bold, and respectfully audacious. (to be transparent the second definition for the word audacious is showing an impudent lack of respect. I do not want to be this part of the word, although I ask that you forgive me when I inevitably am. I just want to be risky – within reason.) 

I am working on being bold. I want to be bold. I think boldness and courage are linked  and I think they both involve taking risks and having faith. I have faith. I am afraid.

In light of some changes that have taken place in my life (more on that later), I have decided that now is a great time to practice living boldly – within reason. I keep saying that because this is not the start of any sky diving, or solo Pacific Crest Trailing. While I am up for adventure, I am also not going to jump out of a plane any time soon.

This past summer I was listening to a panel of school principals. They were tasked with providing my cohort of wanna-be school leaders with some practical advice for our future roles. There was a lot on leading well, and caring for others, and remembering why you started the endeavor towards leadership in the first place. There was a lot. I honestly don’t remember most of it. Really, I remember one thing. One of the principals, he was wearing a light tan suit, said something that really shook me. It would become the thing that I would go to when my heart would start to race, or when I felt my self getting in the way of myself. It was so simple, yet it shook my whole world.

How ever bold you think you’re being, be bolder.

That was it. That was all I needed to hear. I felt my heart light up in a hot fire of excitement. I was listening. I was ready to do just that – to be bolder. I definitely hadn’t been bold in a long time. I think there may have been a time once before where people may have seen some inklings towards bold in me. Not recently.

This idea of “being bolder” has been on mind every since. I am trying to do just that – to be bolder.

I am failing.

Fear, judgement, self-consciousness and uncertainty have a firm grip on me. I am seeing the edge and dizzy at the thought of getting any closer. I need to jump. I am inching my way closer (part of me hopes some one will just push me already).

All that to say, I am trying to live a bolder life. This is me inching closer.